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chronic prophet
PostPosted: 19-11-2003 12:20 PM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 19 Nov 2003
Posts: 31

Seems the folks down in Australia are getting a little of the old holy-image-appears-on-random-object-Christians-start-acting-like-total-whack-jobs fun of their own as of late. So says The Sydney Morning Herald:

"Hundreds of believers flocked to the Coogee Beach headland yesterday to witness what they say is an apparition of the Virgin Mary.
Scores more hiked up the cliff path to touch, kiss and pray to the post which over the past few days has been transformed into something of a shrine, with pictures of the virgin, rosary beads and flowers piled around the white-washed fence.

Some wept, others sang, most prayed. As the sunlight reflected off a crook in the fence throughout the afternoon, hundreds claimed they could discern the shape of a veiled figure, and most agreed it was "Our Lady"."


They kissed a fence post?! Do they not realize that dogs tend to urinate on fence posts? I suppose that's a little better than rubbing their naked asses against it.

This is one of those things about Christians that I just don't understand. First off, why would Jesus and his Mother spend so much time drawing pictures of themselves into various random objects such as trees, fence posts, office building windows, or whatever other random inanimate object happens to be around at the time when they could do a
much better job of letting people know they really exist by, say, materializing in the middle of the Today show set and performing an undeniable miracle such as making Al Roker actually interesting, or at least entertaining, to watch? Huh? Is that too much of a miracle
for the King of Kings to pull off? I realize I'm asking a lot here.

No, instead we get nothing but pathetic doodles that have less artistic merit than something produced by a blind epileptic quadriplegic. Artistically speaking, Jesus should stick to turning water into wine and leave the art stuff to the professionals.

Secondly (yeah, I did have more questions), why the hell when one of these shoddy self- portraits appear do all the Christians in the immediate vicinity feel they have to:

A) rush immediately to the site in question
B) touch, rub, kiss, fondle, molest, pray, cry, or faint
C) generally make a nuisance of themselves?

They do that by clogging streets, leaving various "gifts" (someone eventually has to pick that shit up), trampling people's lawns and just generally not doing anything productive or important despite all the problems they cause by being there. What the fuck is wrong with
these people?

When was the last time you heard of a bunch of Jews freaking out because a vague image of some holy figure of their's showed up on someone's kreplach? How the last time you heard about a load of Muslims spazzing because one of them saw the face of Mahomet appear in the pattern of the wood grain of some random door someplace? You never hear about that sort of thing.

Occasionally the Hindus will make a big deal out of a statue of one of their various Gods they have supposedly drinking milk, but that's about the only other religious group I can think of that has anything close to what the Christians are constantly reporting and it's about a dumb as the idea of Jesus drawing bad pictures of himself everywhere.

Whatever. There are days when I'm feeling particularly evil that I just know there's a great set of pranks to be pulled using this affinity of Christians to practically wet themselves over this sort of thing. One of these days I may have to see if I can pull it off.
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Jamie
PostPosted: 19-11-2003 02:18 PM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 31 Jul 2002
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It wasn't funny the first time I read this at stupidevilbastard.com.
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chronic prophet
PostPosted: 20-11-2003 01:03 PM  Reply with quote
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I read it and it was hilarious... how is it not
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stateofmisapprehention
PostPosted: 07-12-2003 03:41 PM  Reply with quote
noob


Joined: 07 Dec 2003
Posts: 2
Location: Brisbane

yeh.. so if u wanna go and knock christians.. just remember that not all christians are as fucked as that[/quote]
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marc
PostPosted: 21-12-2003 05:38 PM  Reply with quote
bloke


Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 4246
Location: happy village, melbourne

stateofmisapprehention wrote:
yeh.. so if u wanna go and knock christians.. just remember that not all christians are as fucked as that


Just a whole lot of them.

Christianity is pretty easy to mock these days. Nyeh. You can't really pay out atheism.
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DanTheMan
PostPosted: 22-12-2003 12:27 AM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 02 Jul 2002
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NEWS FLASH: 16 year old computer nerds say "Fuck Christianity"
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totalimmortal wrote:
im not racist you dumb fuck.. I have family members that are indian etc.


eddie wrote:
my dad is cum grenades with a guy who owns an indian restaurant in kenmore and gives us free naan with every dish
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kylie is retarded
PostPosted: 22-12-2003 08:59 AM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 20 Aug 2002
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I was forced to go to sunday school until I was about 13 (after that they gave up on me. I was told by my church that dressing the way I did would lead me into bad things, and that I was too 'gothic')
I went to a christian school from year 3 to year 8.

all I can say about the whole experience is that it probably fucked me up more than it ever did any good. not because of the actual religion, but because of the people I came into contact at that church/school. I always felt really judged, and because I was a little bit different, a little bit weird, I was made to feel like I was doing something wrong by being myself.

I don't think I would consider myself an athiest though

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dieselgirl
PostPosted: 22-12-2003 09:09 PM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 28 Aug 2003
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you have, however, come into contact with some pretty strange people at bible camp.
I LIKE YOUR PARENTS!

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kylie is retarded
PostPosted: 22-12-2003 10:37 PM  Reply with quote
fully erect member


Joined: 20 Aug 2002
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does you hair look different today? I like your hair!!
I like that jumper.. oh that's nice that jumper
where'd you get those socks? they are SO COOL!
oh where did you girls get your fashion sense? I wish I had a look like your's..
I LIKE YOUR PARENTS! Very Happy

dear god that girl was scary

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dieselgirl
PostPosted: 22-12-2003 11:30 PM  Reply with quote
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and this one time, at bible camp, we put laxitives in this chicks drink

and this one time, at bible camp, we gave this chick mints that make u fart, and she thought they were drugs and it was sooo funny

and this one time at bible camp..........

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kylie is retarded
PostPosted: 23-12-2003 12:20 AM  Reply with quote
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we gave one of the chicks like 7 de-gas pills just before the bus ride home
funniest shit in the world.. she was shifting in her chair the whole way home, and looking around all scared like making sure no one was watching, then she'd let one go..... Very Happy

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marc
PostPosted: 23-12-2003 10:40 AM  Reply with quote
bloke


Joined: 04 May 2003
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dieselgirl wrote:
and this one time, at bible camp, we put laxitives in this chicks drink

and this one time, at bible camp, we gave this chick mints that make u fart, and she thought they were drugs and it was sooo funny

and this one time at bible camp..........


Dammit you got in first Very Happy
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mikeh
PostPosted: 28-12-2003 03:58 PM  Reply with quote
straightedge


Joined: 17 Aug 2003
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christianity is soured.

God, however, is not.
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mikeh
PostPosted: 28-12-2003 11:13 PM  Reply with quote
straightedge


Joined: 17 Aug 2003
Posts: 1642
Location: melbourne

quiet matt damon.
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aneurysm
PostPosted: 29-12-2003 02:04 PM  Reply with quote
fully erect member


Joined: 08 Nov 2003
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Location: Canberra

From your photo, anyway.
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wanna_kill_u_too
PostPosted: 30-12-2003 05:31 AM  Reply with quote
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Kyth wrote:
Do I seriously look like him.. Confused


yes

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nomad
PostPosted: 30-12-2003 12:29 PM  Reply with quote
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did you know 'Star People' built what we know as noahs ark. But it wasnt a big boat with 2 of every animal. no no, instead it was a 3 story building that housed dna sequences of every creature on earth.

These star people also taught ancient cilivilizations a mathematical formula that revolves around the number 360. they used this formula the pyramids, stonehenge and the stone circles and these measurements involve many things like the speed of light and the distance of earth to the sun etc etc.

/crazy

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marc
PostPosted: 30-12-2003 03:33 PM  Reply with quote
bloke


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Kyth wrote:
Do I seriously look like him.. Confused


Only nowhere near as hot.
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kylie is retarded
PostPosted: 30-12-2003 04:19 PM  Reply with quote
fully erect member


Joined: 20 Aug 2002
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Kyth wrote:
Do I seriously look like him.. Confused

yeah, when he was 12

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mikeh
PostPosted: 11-01-2004 10:25 AM  Reply with quote
straightedge


Joined: 17 Aug 2003
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Location: melbourne

actually, you look more like raab himself, only much less amusing (or much more?).
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