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Jamie
PostPosted: 10-11-2003 06:57 PM  Reply with quote
regrets signing up


Joined: 31 Jul 2002
Posts: 10111
Location: Eastside

I basically blew my university days in the pursuit of one girl.

It's only now, half a dozen years later, that the idea strikes me with some clarity. Despite what people said at the time. Despite the fact that at every moment of those several years it must have been obvious to everyone but me.

It was obvious. They told me. But I couldn't listen to them because I still had hope. Several years of entirely pointless hope, when I should have been having the time of my life. Not that I had a bad time. In some respects, I had a great time. But it could have been better. If I hadn't blown it in the pursuit of one girl.

Of course, hindsight is no substitute for insight, and this is all pitifully retrospective.

I'm playing the album she gave me for my twenty-first. Sitting here on the bare boards of the verandah of this old house, studiously not renovating, listening to The Smiths' The Queen Is Dead. Watching paint fail to apply itself to the verandah rails.

She gave me this album and a tie, a tie that even at the time was a bad tie, and now is long gone.

Listening to the album makes me think we had no chance anyway. She gave it to me, I'm sure, simply because she knew I liked it, not because of its abundance of ironies, full as it is of lonliness and stricken unrequited love. She was neither cruel enough, nor ironic enough, for it to have been anything but a gift. It's only now that I realise that she lacked irony absolutely, and we were in fact totally incompatible. Throughout the mid-eighties that eluded me, but I can't imagine how.

Since my enthusiasm for renovation has temporarily slipped and it's approaching seven-thirty, I decide to eat. I decide takeaway, then straight back to work. I call Baan Thai at Milton and the guy recognizes my voice and says, Usual order for Hiller?

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DanTheMan
PostPosted: 10-11-2003 07:56 PM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 02 Jul 2002
Posts: 18307
Location: internet

you're a man after my own heart, jamie. I love that book.
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eddie wrote:
actually I enjoy air travel.


totalimmortal wrote:
im not racist you dumb fuck.. I have family members that are indian etc.


eddie wrote:
my dad is cum grenades with a guy who owns an indian restaurant in kenmore and gives us free naan with every dish


Last edited by DanTheMan on 10-11-2003 08:01 PM; edited 1 time in total
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Jamie
PostPosted: 10-11-2003 07:59 PM  Reply with quote
regrets signing up


Joined: 31 Jul 2002
Posts: 10111
Location: Eastside

It's a classic, man.
I've just started reading it again for about the hundredth time.

It's 'Zigzag Sreet' by Nick Earls, if anyone didn't already know.
I once looked at a room in a share house on Zigzag Street but I stalled and by the time I called back to say I'd take it, it was gone Sad

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DanTheMan
PostPosted: 10-11-2003 08:09 PM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 02 Jul 2002
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oh man that would have been rad! then you could listen to the go betweens and play tennis at UQ and stuff. not to mention you could be a doctor. can't be a school student in toowong or a dude in a chicken suit though.

I think zigzag street is his best followed closely by 48 shades of brown. I found it hard to get through bachelor kisses, its really long and there's a lot of medical stuff which I find irritating.

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eddie wrote:
actually I enjoy air travel.


totalimmortal wrote:
im not racist you dumb fuck.. I have family members that are indian etc.


eddie wrote:
my dad is cum grenades with a guy who owns an indian restaurant in kenmore and gives us free naan with every dish
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Jamie
PostPosted: 10-11-2003 08:25 PM  Reply with quote
regrets signing up


Joined: 31 Jul 2002
Posts: 10111
Location: Eastside

hahah. I see so many parallels in my life, it's great.

my favourite is this one but is very very closely followed by world of chickens.

bachelor kisses was ok, but not of same calibre, I agree.

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shelley
PostPosted: 10-11-2003 10:53 PM  Reply with quote
fully erect member


Joined: 10 Jul 2003
Posts: 140
Location: brisbane

I had to read 48 shades of brown for english, just finished it. it was pretty good
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kylie is retarded
PostPosted: 11-11-2003 09:21 AM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 20 Aug 2002
Posts: 2131
Location: melbourne

I have only read '48 shades of brown' but it was a great book, I'm gonna have to read zigzag street now
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TheUsualSuspect
PostPosted: 11-11-2003 01:00 PM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 08 Aug 2003
Posts: 1167
Location: Brisbane

I'm not totally sure, but I think I've read most of nick earl's catalogue, having worked in the book department of a rather large chain retail store and thus having rather large discounts on my book purchases given to me by fellow employees. however, back to the point, I must say zigzag street is definitely my favourite followed by his september release Two to Go.
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Josh
PostPosted: 23-11-2003 10:05 AM  Reply with quote
SMS heartbreaker


Joined: 23 Nov 2002
Posts: 6714
Location: Mowbray Massive

I played Dan in a School Production of "48 Shades of Brown" Confused
Lets just say the book shits all over the play.

I think we have ZigZag street lying around somewhere here, I might check it oot.

edit: I was almost gonna pay you out Jamie for being the most emo fuck on this board until I found it was an extract from the book, hahahaha.

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Jamie
PostPosted: 23-11-2003 06:11 PM  Reply with quote
regrets signing up


Joined: 31 Jul 2002
Posts: 10111
Location: Eastside

get fucked Very Happy

check out zigzag st, it's laugh-out-loud funny, for real. you won't be disappointed.

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lullaby
PostPosted: 23-11-2003 06:23 PM  Reply with quote
noisetheory.org forum bicycle


Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 6019
Location: Vancouver

ZigZag St is one of the funniest books I have ever read.

Thank you for reminding me to read it again. I'd run out of books to read anyway so it's good timing.
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Jamie
PostPosted: 26-11-2003 01:40 AM  Reply with quote
regrets signing up


Joined: 31 Jul 2002
Posts: 10111
Location: Eastside

...Usual order for Hiller?

He tells me fifteen minutes.

I stop for petrol on the way.

Usual order for Hiller. I still get the usual order for Hiller. Two things have changed. There is no Hiller, and the price has gone up fifty-five cents, but the usual order for Hiller is still the order of choice. It just lasts two nights now. Chicken satay (four sticks), panang nua, large rice. Previously fifteen ninety-five, but still a bargain at sixteen fifty.

I nudge the petrol up to the twenty dollar mark, and even this, even petrol, reeks of old crappy memories. The girl at uni, a month short of my twenty-first, my one and only chance.


The Rash
We went to a movie. She asked me. And I thought maybe this isn't just us going as friends. Maybe this is a date. I got excited. I imagine I talked throughout the movie and probably annoyed her by trying to impress her.

We had coffee afterwards and she talked about what we were going to do for my twenty-first. We. I remember that. I remember the enormous thumping erection triggered off simply by the notion of we. And I could see us together at my twenty-first, her standing next to me. I could see I was going to be a winner after all.

And on the way back to her place after coffee, already into the sixth hour of this new phase of our relationship, we stopped for petrol. It was winter, two am, cold. The petrol cap didn't come off easily. Something trivial like that. Something trivial that led her to make the vaguely funny emasculating remark that prompted me to take the pump, having finished filling up the car, and point it into my pocket like a pistol, to make a joke of completing the process of emasculation. Of course, at that very moment, the last gravitational penile dribble from the pump, or a twitch of my cold shaking hand (it matters little which), filled my pants with petrol. Really cold petrol, spreading out black across the front of my favourite faded black jeans and running down both legs. Stinking the car out, all the way back to her place. She laughed more than she needed to, and she didn't invite me in. She told me not to go near any naked flames.

And when I got home and threw away the pants and saw my dick shrivelled up like a pale poisoned worm I thought, fine, you're no good to me anyway.

Over the next few days I lost quite a bit of skin in that area, and I stayed in my room as much as I could wearing nothing from the waist down. It was only when I thought it wasn't getting better that I asked one of my housemate, a hospital intern, what I should do about it.

And the story was out.

Fuck confidentiality, when there's a story in it.

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DanTheMan
PostPosted: 26-11-2003 04:35 PM  Reply with quote
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Joined: 02 Jul 2002
Posts: 18307
Location: internet

You know what would be great?

What?

If I could date Liz Hurley. Now that would be great. If I became famous for dating someone who had become famous for dating someone famous. That would be the ultimate Krapmeister triumph.

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eddie wrote:
actually I enjoy air travel.


totalimmortal wrote:
im not racist you dumb fuck.. I have family members that are indian etc.


eddie wrote:
my dad is cum grenades with a guy who owns an indian restaurant in kenmore and gives us free naan with every dish
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